Sunday, June 6, 2010
For several generations we have demanded convenience over safety, guilty of wanting perfect lives, homes, gardens, lawns, travel. We have turned our logic off, listened to convenience providers' claims, while ignoring the fact we have been poisoning our bodies and homes, as well as our earth, air and waters.
Don't believe me?
It wasn't so long ago that we didn't mind spraying insecticides to get rid of mosquitoes and flies that entered our houses, or showed up at our outdoor gatherings and picnics. We sprayed over the heads of our family and guests, over our food and beverages, and ignored the fact that those spray cans contained poisons.
Teflon coated pans made cooking clean up a breeze. Now, most of us have Teflon in our blood. (see UCLA link below).
Those chemical fertilizers and weeding agents may produce perfect weed-free lawns, but they also kill all micro-organisms in the soil, not just broad leaf plants growing in the grass. And God help us, many do not follow label directions. Is it any wonder that in the last fifty years we seen changes in our children's health? Just recently learned 2,4-D the chemical that kills the broadleaf weeds, was first used in chemical warfare as part of Agent Orange in the Vietnam War. Does that make it bad? I don't know, but it does show you its potential power.
So what can we do? First off, we need to get smart and think about what chemicals you want around your family. If you choose to use a product, any product, READ THE LABEL and act responsibly. Follow directions and dispose of any remaining product as recommended.
Do we need all the chemicals we are using in our homes? No.
A few years ago, as I was using a popular cleaner in my bathroom, the smell made me choke and cough and my eyes watered. It made me think. When I was a child we didn't have all these must-have cleaners. Are we sure they are as safe as they claim to be? That's when I started searching for recipes for homemade cleaners, so I knew what was in them. Now I use vinegar, baking soda and limited amounts of ammonia (which can also make you choke and cough and your eyes water if used in too strong a strength) to clean my house. One good source I found was a list from Michigan State University. Not only is my house just as clean (I admit I don't demand a spotless house of myself), but I've save money, too.
There are other ways we can reduce poisons in our daily lives if we are aware of the danger and seek out alternative methods to accomplish the task at hand. Hope I've started you thinking about the issue and how you can limit the poisons in your life.
UCLA researchers report that exposure to perfluorinated chemicals (PFCs) may reduce women's fertility
MSU Homemade Cleaners
MSU Homemade Cleaner Recipes
Monday, August 31, 2009
When I look back at my adult life and how I got to where I am now, I see a road littered with lost opportunities and poor decisions. Part of the reason my husband and I are having financial troubles now is because of a decision I made to quit a job that I loved to try something that ended up not working out very well. I then compounded that by trying to start a business that was pretty much guaranteed to not make money. Part of the reason I'm not a famous writer is because I've put other things ahead of writing- such as sleeping, earning a living and raising children-- but also reading other people's books and goofing around on the internet. Part of the reason I am overweight is because of poor choices I've made about what to eat and because I have chosen to be a couch potato instead of getting my butt out of the house and being active.
It's easy to sink into depression in the face of all this self-blame, and for much of the year I've let feelings of guilt overwhelm me. To my husband's credit, when I talk to him about this, he points out that there was a lot more involved in everything than just my making poor decisions, and he's absolutely right. (Incidentally, marrying him was one of the best decisions I ever made.)
Unfortunately there are no do-overs in life. I can't go back and change the decisions I've made. Truth is, most of them I would make again if I had the opportunity to do so. So I have to move forward with where I am at this point in time and try to make the best decisions I can from this point on. I've got to take small steps-- steps that I've already started to make as a matter of fact. I didn't reinvent myself for my fiftieth birthday, but I've made a few changes that might, if I keep things up, mean I'm at an entirely different place when I turn fifty-five.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Whenever strangers meet and one or the other starts a simple courtesy exchange, the weather is usually covered, especially if unusual conditions part the social gulf: “Fine weather,” said with a smile. “Have you ever seen so much snow?” said looking out the window at work as more white stuff falls, or worse, in an airport where monitors flicker ‘cancelled’ on your flight. “Wow, what a cloud burst,” said standing on the corner with an umbrella scrunched over your head amid a crowd waiting for the light to turn green. “Lord, I hope this heat wave breaks soon,” said waiting for the train home, wilting with perspiration and fanning yourself with a piece of paper.
Even when well-known acquaintances meet, there is usually a brief exchange about the weather and how it is effecting them personally: “This rain makes traffic move at a snail’s pace!” or “This drought has killed my new plants,” or “the trails held so many puddles and mire I came home covered in mud.
Plus, the weather provides complaints about and excuses to avoid certain tasks: “It’s too hot to exercise,” or “It’s too cold to paint,” or “It’s too wet to mow.” And offers cheers such as: “No school today!” or warnings of those dangerous events: “We have to seek shelter -- right now.
Our preoccupation with the weather seems logical. We dwell in it. Without an atmosphere, there is no life, not for us, so our obsession with the condition of our envelope seems valid. Weather affects how we live and travel, our style of home, what we wear, and even what we eat. We want to know the temperature, the humidity and if is raining or snowing. If it’s too hot we turn on the air-conditioner, too cold, the furnace. Weather defines so much of our daily lives. So laugh over the small talk about weather, but think about the topic beneath the words, the one that bridges all our differences – our common world. Maybe that’s the reason the weather, relegated to short quips and exchanges, is our most popular topic.
And the second phrase of that ‘Everyone talks about the weather,’ quote? The decades to come may or may not prove its truth. Let’s hope we can.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Do you ever wonder how we actually survive being parents without ever reading the nonexistent Parents Manual? I know it hasn’t been an easy road for me with five kids but we’ve all managed to survive the years of learning to get along and believing in one other.
When my first child was born, it took me about an hour to put on her little undershirt. I was afraid of hurting her so I took my time moving her little body while I dressed her.
When my second child came along, it took me about half an hour to put on his undershirt.
With my third pregnancy (twin girls) it took me about fifteen minutes to put on their undershirts, combined, not each.
By the time my last child came around, I simply flipped her in the air, and let her ease into her undershirt as she tumbled back down.
Okay, so this last part didn’t happen but what I’m trying to tell you is this: as new parents we’re faced with new situations with our first child for us to adapt and get to know. By the time the next child is born, we’re already experienced and our job is now a bit easier, like me flipping my last kid into her undershirt. We also need to understand that children are like little sponges, absorbing our actions, our words, our mannerisms…that is why it’s important for us to be on our guard at all times. Can you imagine the embarrassment at a family function and our child suddenly decides to show off a new word he heard mommy or daddy say out loud?
But just to backtrack for a second, when my oldest daughter was born, there were complications during labor and she was born via a cesarean. While in the prenatal ward, the nurse had a small radio by her crib with classical music playing all day. To this day, my daughter relaxes before an exam or a stressful day at work by listening to classical music. Coincidence? I don’t think so. She was exposed to this soothing music from a tender age and it blended within her being.
Nowadays, parents understand that our little sponges are capable of learning at a younger age than what our parents may have believed. I’m not saying to stress the kids out by constantly teaching them things. Remember when we were young, when our games included wooden blocks, shapes to place in their right slots…these are fun ways to sit and play with your child and in the process they are learning hand and eye coordination.
As they grow older parents are ecstatic to place their children in piano/sports/gymnastics and any other activity. Just remember this is where the overload may happen. Registering them for too many activities and not enough time to be with their friends or to simply ‘not’ do anything may stress them out.
I mentioned above about my oldest and the little radio playing classical music while she was in pre-natal care; children adapt to what they are exposed to at an early stage in life. In her case, it was music, which has helped her in some areas in her life as she aged. Now imagine a child who is reared in nothing more than yelling, screaming, and name-calling, what type of an adult would he/she become? How would this child be capable of being a ‘teacher’ to his/her own children if all he/she knew was the atmosphere they grew up in?
The bottom line is this: once we commit to marriage and to rearing children, we have a responsibility we need to be aware of…mentoring. Far too many young couples out there believe it will be ‘fun’ to have a kid. Yes, it is fun if the meaning behind ‘parent’ is understood. A big constraint on all parents is time with their children. Both parents in this century need to work to support a family and this, at times, sees them exhausted to the point there is no time for ‘quality’ play with their youngsters.
Many believe that buying material items will satisfy their children. In some respect it does, but not in the sense of raising a responsible child who appreciates these gifts. These gifts become meaningless to them, just items to pass their time.
Children need parents who are not afraid to say no when needed, parents who won’t turn around the next minute and change their minds. This confuses a child but also begins to build in them the notion that ‘yeah, sure, you’ll change your mind once we get home.’ They won’t feel the discipline nor respect your guidelines in the end since you are easily manipulated.
Friends can easily sway children as they become teenagers if they haven’t had the opportunity to bond with their parents and feel they can turn to them when they are emotionally cornered at some point. That is why it is important to begin your bonding once the doctor places your baby in your arms, and you cradle them for the very first time. This is when the magic begins.
Monday, April 13, 2009
I was halfway prepared for the Eagles, Billy Joel and Elton John to show up on oldies stations-- after all, they started on the radio when I was in high school, but when Jesse's Girl showed up on the oldies dial it rocked my world. My daughters listened to Jesse's Girl. Well, okay, maybe Jesse's Girl was early 80's, and the girls are in their twenties now, but I started thinking about other groups we listened to while the girls were growing up. Matchbox Twenty, Bare-Naked Ladies, Sister Hazel, Chumba-wumba.
I'm to the age now when I can really see the telescope of time. Movies that we loved watching together as a family-- Independence Day, Star Trek the Next Generation movies, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. I remember how much fun it was taking them to the theater to see the re-release of the Star Wars movies (the original ones.) The girls were big fans of the books and were so excited about seeing the movies in the theater. My husband and I had to continuously remind them that OUR generation had seen them first, that if it wasn't for us, there would be no Star Wars because we created fandom-- first for Star Trek, then for Star Wars.
The movies, TV shows and music all run together so now it's hard for me to realize that it was sixteen years ago that we all enjoyed watching Johnny Depp in Benny and Joon, fourteen years ago that we fell in love with Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, and it was 15 years ago that Star Trek the Next Generation ended its run.
But there are still some ties to the past-- with the new Dr. Who with David tennant, our family has once again found the joy we used to experience when watching Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy battle everything from Daleks to Cybermen. Johnny Depp is planning to make yet another Pirates of the Carribbean Movie and a somewhat geriatric Harrison Ford brought Indiana Jones back for one more adventure last year.
But if I turn on my oldies station and hear Green Day belting out, "Don't Wanna Be an American Idiot!" I'll know the world has gone mad. Some songs are just not meant to ever be oldies.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Still, part of me can sympathize with Nadya Suleiman's desire to have lots of children. I loved having children, loved being a mom, loved raising infants, toddlers,preschoolers and even teenagers. I wasn't real thrilled about toilet training and getting up for the 2 AM feedings, but it did come along with the territory.
I fully expected to suffer the pangs associated with the empty nest syndrome when my girls moved away from home. Our family had always been very close and it was hard to imagine life without them. However, my husband and I quickly discovered the joys of being on our own again and having time just for us. We enjoyed it for about two and a half years before a daughter boomeranged home. It may be several years before she is ready to move back out again.
In the meantime we are juggling bathrooms and parking spots, and determining where the boundaries are. After being out on her own for two and a half years, she doesn't want to have to account to us for her whereabouts. After being without kids in the house for two and a half years, we don't always want to account to her for ours.
There are other issues as well. For various reasons, she is unable to work right now, which means we are supporting her. Right now she's recovering from a severe illness, during which my husband and I both took lots of time off from our day jobs to take her to various doctor appointments and to tend to her needs at home. We both also spent a great deal of time on the phone talking with various doctors and medical providers about her condition, medical tests and treatment.
We had to do the same thing for another daughter a few years ago when she, too, had an acute illness that required a significant amount of our time in terms of medical visits, hospital stays and dealing with the insurance company.
We do all of this willingly because we love our daughters, and we want to help them as much as we can. Our parents have helped us many times when we have needed help. It's what parents do. Still I can't help but wonder about Nadya Suleiman and what she will do when her 14 children start boomeranging on her.
It may not seem like such a big deal now to have 14 young children, including octuplets. Suleiman has said she will have volunteers to help care for the babies. I wonder if these volunteers will still be around when the kids start getting involved in after school activities. Will she have volunteers to play chauffeur when 2 kids have soccer practice (at different fields) another has piano lessons and another three go for t-ball-- all at the same time? Will the volunteers be able to help her make the rounds of the various teachers during School Open House? It may not seem hard to hit all the teachers when the kids are in elementary school, but when they get into high school, unless all of the kids have the exact same teachers, she'll never be able to hit all the classrooms in one night.
What about when they get into band and orchestra and choir? Will the volunteers be available to attend the football games of Kids 1,2, and 3 so Nadya can go to Kids 4,5 & 6's violin concert on the same night, while Grandpa helps Kids 7,8 & 9 with their science project and Grandma drills Kids 10, 11 & 12 on their spelling lists. Oops-- I hope there's a volunteer somewhere who can take Kids 13 & 14 to Band Practice since all the other adults are tied up.
Will those volunteers till be around when the kids hit their teens? As any parent of an 11-15 year-old knows, 90% of Nadya's waking hours will be spent driving the kids to all their various activities. Will those volunteers still be there to help play chauffeur? Heck, they'll need one person just to direct the traffic of all those kids in and out of the 4 bathrooms in that house!
Does Nadya realize that even after she gets the kids to age 18, that doesn't mean she's home free? What if they don't all go away to college? What if they have trouble getting jobs? What if they leave home and then come back? If even a few of her kids boomerang, will that army of volunteers still be there to help out? What if her kids follow her example and expect her to help them raise THEIR children? What if some of her kids have the same mindset she does about having babies? Will those volunteers still be there when Nadya's children start having multiple births of their own?
As I look at what Nadya's parents are dealing with, I realize that having my own two children boomerang really isn't so bad at all. At least with adult children moving back home, I don't have to worry about the 2 AM feedings or toilet training. The worst thing that may happen is I have might have to park my car on the street because there's no room for my car in the driveway. At least i know that with three adults and two bathrooms, I have a pretty good chance of being able to get to the facilities when i need to.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
MAGIC, MENSA AND MAYHEM!
…."Wisdom of the Ages, Knowledge of Eternity, and I end up a babysitter at the Smart Humans' Convention."--Vern
Here's what some folks have said already. (Vern is preening.)
Magic, Mensa & Mayhem, made me laugh, everything from quiet chuckles to outright snorts. MM&M brought to mind Craig Shaw Gardnerʼs humorous Tales of Wuntvor, with its phraselong Elvish names and clash of magical races, each with its own culture and quirks that would make a UN official tear out his or her hair... There are enough puns to elicit groans from even the sternest critic. A quick read and an enjoyable one.
Jody Lynn Nye, author of An Unexpected Apprentice and co-author of the Myth-Adventures series. www.jodynye.com
Religion and humor suffuse this well-imagined and densely plotted comedic mystery, based on a short story of the same title. Cursed by St. George to serve the Faerie Catholic Church, dragon detective Vern now sleuths in the mundane world. His latest (unpaid) assignment is to babysit a group of faeries attending a Mensa meeting. Vern quickly has his claws full juggling crises, from invisible brownies to two elves whose rivalry threatens to become interdimensional war. Distinctly memorable and occasionally silly supporting characters, from Brunhilde the Valkyrie to Native American trickster Coyote, steer the action. While the conclusion sticks perilously close to genre formula and the narrative is jumpy throughout, most readers will forgive the clichés (and Vern’s groan-worthy puns) and chuckle all the way through. Publisher's Weekly
Order it at Swimming Kangaroo!